Movies...

So I've been thinking a lot lately and certainly been watching a lot of movies in theaters... Most recently I saw Life As We Know It with Katherine Heigl on Friday and Secretariat just a few hours ago. And I think watching a movie in theaters is dangerous. Stay with me, I know its crazy, but hear me out. :) first, you have your popcorn throwers, texters, screamers, jumpers, 'feet on the back of the seat'-ers, lovers (yes, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about: the real reason no one likes to see horror movies in theaters anymore isn't because they're scarier), and, naturally the ticket prices. But, more than that, the reason that directors, actors, even extras, are rich (don't hold your breath) and famous.... movies make EVERYONE emotional. Even the guys that turn their heads at the climax of the movie to see if their wives are crying are emotional when it comes to football movie legends like Remember the Titans. Horror movies make you paranoid. Romantic Comedies make you lovey-dovey. Inspirational movies -those ones that almost everyone likes- make your heart pound for twenty minutes after you've left the theater. Action movies make you remember when you were a kid and you just KNEW that you were going to be the next muntant ninja turtle. You get my point.

So back to the ones making the mula when the rest of us have to save up the money for weeks just to pay for the gas (referring to my fellow Montanans). These celebrities don't make the money from the DVDs and VHSs or the action figures that are poorly modeled after them, no, they make it in theaters. Because, everyone who's ever seen a bad movie in theaters knows that if isn't even remotely good in theaters, its not going ANYWHERE afterwards. So that's what the big producing companies compete for is the box office milllions. Its all over the news in the summertime, who's selling the most tickets opening weekend. However, I still haven't gotten to my overall point yet, which I should before I lose you all. My point is that when you're in that theater its the movie makers JOB to make you feel out of touch with reality for approx. 90 minutes. In football movies, you're right there blocking next to the starting quarterback. In chick fliks, you're the lead female's best friend that she tells EVERYTHING to when the man she loves moves cross country for a job. In the horror films, you hope, you're the sole servivor.

But what happens when you leave the theater?? When you are shoved back INTO reality with the sound of the last song on the soundtrack. You throw your half-full cold popcorn bucket into the trash can and feel the wave of the cold air hit your face as you walk to the car. Well, as I've clearly illustrated throughout this entry, it depends on the movie. Horror movies? You have to  admit, you're thrilled to be back in reality, but you'll be locking your bedroom door tonight and closing all your windows. Romantic comedies? Chances are, you're glad you saw the movie, but ready to break up with your boyfriend because you know you deserve better (which comes in the form of the ACTOR, yes ACTOR in the movie). And if you don't have a boyfriend? Well you'll be asking out that co-worker you've had an eye on for a while, just 'knowing' that it'll turn out to be a fairytale just like in the movie. Inspirational movies, are the most dangerous (like I said before, I'd prove it to you), because now you want to up and quit your job and do that trip around the world you'd been planning all your life.

Why, you say, am I bashing on movies in theaters, and not just movies in general? Or books for that matter, everyone always says that they're a portable escape from reality? But that's exactly my point. Reality. With books, at some point you have to get up and make dinner or go to bed because you've got a big test the next day. Watching movies at home, especially with the family, someone ALWAYS has to get up and go the bathroom just before the best part. So there's your difference. You get a break. You get a chance to slowly, carefully reassociate your life with reality so that when the movie's over you won't be as throttled as when you leave a movie theater. So, like I said, movie theaters are not safe. But, you see, I'm still not done yet. :).

One last thing. Are they really dangerous, in a bad way? Are movies in theaters such an awful thing? Or could they be the best thing that ever happened to you? Don't you have to risk it all to win it all? Maybe some, not all, but some of these movies are actually one giant alarm clock for reality. One big bunch of it all rolled into a 90 minutes infomercial, and that's why they seem scary. Because they are the things that tell you, "Hey, you do deserve better." or "You really can live your dream."

So now its up to you. Go ahead, take the kids to the movies on saturday nights to go see the new Kungfu Panda. And yes, you can still use the theaters as an easy date (though its not as cheap as it used to be), but this time, be prepared. You may be a changed person when you pull the car out of the theater parking lot that night. You may even wake up the next morning with a mask over your eyes and a name like Michealangelo....